November 2008
32 posts
1 tag
working on my new portfolio website, alexmeswarb.com
Computer Programmer Rap Battle
we ain't here to do e-c-e
we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
listen to me spit these rhymes
while i program lines
and commit web accessibility crimes
word, son
You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands.
Cut the crap rap,
Or I'll run ettercap,
Grab your AIM chat,
N' send a PC bitch-slap!
peace
you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
while i got other plans
you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right
you just create a plight with your http rewrites
i've been on the web since the age of three
you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
respect yo' elders, bitch
You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up,
Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow!
You're knocking at the door while I run this show!
Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school,
Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
Face it. I rule.
i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
all you can do is troll on the fagnets
and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup
it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge
you say i'm still in school
but the fact is that i know the rule
cuz you need to go back to grade three
and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e
Time to bend over and apply a patch,
Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
Your connection got nuked and you've met your match.
You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
I'd pass the torch to a real winner
But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner
Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows,
Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.
Good god, I can't even respond to that. :P
You win haha
* http402 takes a bow
'Kick a ginger' day left redheads with legs... →
nickdouglas:
Ha! Ha! Ethnic violence is funny when it’s against whites! Jesus.
high schoolers are stupid, news at 11
“If it helps, throw most of the script out and just have the actors read each...”
– Every Episode of ‘House’ Ever (via nickdouglas)
I have nothing but contempt for this article.
But “THE PATIENT POOPS A LUNG” made me laugh.
malty:
brokenmachine:
...
unfollowed
malty:
everytime i lose a follower I think ‘well fuck you too, loser! who needs ya?!’ but then I realize… i do
I got all butthurt when you unfollowed me. :( If you start following me again I’ll stop reblogging everything cool that comes through tumblr, I promise!
INTERNET RUNNING CLUB
duplo:
Okay, guys. I set up a team on the Nike+ site! So far three people (um, including me) have joined.
JOIN!
I’m thinking there ought to be some sort of reward for whoever runs the most miles each week or something. I don’t know what that will be. I’ll think on that…
Mostly, it will just be a way to stay motivated! I’m excited.
Joined as alexdonker, picking up a Sportband tonight.
Andrea Allen
andreaallen:
garlix:
millerthekiller:
My glasses are always dirty. Whenever we hang out she always takes them off my face and cleans them for me. As she does this, I think of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples.
Thought of that today when i took mine off to scrach my eye, realized how dirty they were and thought, “if andrea were here, she would have caught that from across the...
Last straw
andreaallen:
jonathanmarcus:
Go to the student housing place and demand a new room - a single. Don’t take no for an answer. The situation is ruining your experience.
juliaheffernan:
As I walked in I noticed she was sticking something into the toilet. It was a wooden spoon. MY wooden spoon. I was confused mostly. She said “trying to get my tampon out of the toilet because it clogged it.” ...
Man, I want to work at CV one of these days. It looks like those guys (and girls) have way too much goddamn fun.
Watch(via alexbalk)
don't shave your butt hair →
joshuatuscan:
One of those things I decided to read at work that had me laughing through my hand which was clasped over my mouth trying to muffle.
Rap Battle, Historical Edition
Yo, check this shit… My name is Lincoln, I’m the A-B-E I’m the man with the plan, I’m the presidency Not gonna back down, not gonna let ‘em enslave us I’m gonna bust a cap in Mr. Jefferson Davis Stonewall Jackson must be missin’ a rock His balls shrivel when I rack the slide on my Glock General Lee, he better step off fast Or I’ll ram this...
Obama promises First Dog →
emilyposts:
For Emily -
Malia, 10, has already expressed a desire for a “goldendoodle,” a hypoallergenic hybrid of a golden retriever and a standard poodle that typically can’t be found at the pound and isn’t recognized as a breed by the American Kennel Club.
Public opinion, however, is already at odds with the First Family. In a recent AKC poll, voters said they would like the Obamas to adopt a...
1 tag
we’re hip deep in history right now. Go, enjoy it. All of you, blue and red. Four good years and many more, I think.
Potentially Embarrassing Question: What was your...
livejamie:
duckandpenguin:
talix18:
lawful:
lickystickypicky:
saramcpherson:
Mine was Hootie and The Blowfish. I went with my parents.
Your turn!
Mine was Menudo (and thank God half the Tumblr. population doesn’t know menudo…two words: Ricky Martin/80’s style)
The Monkees’ 25th Reunion Tour. Oh yeah.
Asia. Off to Google with you, young folk.
Oof. Right in the sciatica. *waves...
